Blog. Last blog.

Ideas. None at the moment.

Inspirations: Watched a show about meat today. Meat from around the country. Beef mostly. Steaks specifically. Learned about the origin of the Philly cheese steak. Didn't really need that information, considering im a vegetarian and will never attempt to taste the difference between the two warring cheese steak stands. Saw men eating five pound steaks in under an hour. Disgusted

Read bit of “the Filth” but almost started to cry. Not because of content but of allergies. Fucking plants having sex in my nose.

Could be the end of the quarter or just a general lack of inspiration but I cant for the life of me write, can only say what im thinking.

Learned disturbing fact about NASA , specifically Casini space probe. Probe has 73 pounds of plutonium on board and was launched on a rocket that has a 1/12 rate of failure. If the rocket blew up before leaving earths atmosphere the destruction would be twice that of Chernobyl. If it disintegrated in the atmosphere it would spread plutonium over 99% of the planet. Didn't even have to use plutonium, forced to by military wanting to experiment with nuclear war head viability in space. Good to know our safety comes first.

Cant think. Too congested. Fuck plants. Hooray plutonium. Infect it all.

On second thought radiation sickness worse then allergies. Retracting previous statement.

Im afraid of medication for allergies. Afraid of medication in general. Realized long ago the problem with a for profit medical system No money in actually healing people, only making them dependent on various medications. Make medications with symptoms worse then the problem. Require more medications to take care of extra symptoms. Reaffirm peoples belief they need original medication, need all kinds of medication, keep them hooked with fear. A nation of hypochondriacs. A nation of valid hypochondriacs. Best customers you can hope for.

Need medication. Head swimming with mucus or whatever the hell it is. Need head clear for finals. Need head clear for final thought experiment. How to top sixteen page evaluation of the continuity of my own existence.

Ideas: Context. Already talked about context. Both papers about context. Something about context or the concept of it intrigues me on a philosophical level. All things seem contextual and the context of those things are cause and effect.

Thought: If all things are based on a system of cause and effect couldn't system be predicted? If system can be predicted is their logic to fate? Could we make a map back to the beginning of known history and establish a chain of events or would it be tainted by our desire to find such connections

Wish I lived I had my prime around 1900. Time of crime lords. Could have been Don of the world. Only if I had the knowledge that I have today. Not naturally a crime person. Just have romanticized version based on movies.

Ideas for blog: none. What I have written will do. Interesting chain of thoughts. A lot of fear. That's natural though. Who isn’t afraid these days?

World is a dark place, getting darker. Cant just ride the tide but lack facilities to inact change. Lack clout. Clout is everything.

Blog done.

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Fear of failure. Something I have been thinking about a great deal because of this class. Its so unusual to have a teacher work without a prompt, without a system designed to intentionally and unfairly challenge students just for the sake of making them work harder for a grade. I have always hated that, teachers making a test confusing to make it more difficult for some arbitrary reason. The subject matter is what is important, not the way in which you present it on a test. If the subject matter doesn't produce problems that are difficult then that is the nature of the subject and it shouldn't be altered. I guess what is bringing this on is a test I took in my Journalism class recently on which I got a C. Side one was conceptual application of the subject and side B was all matching problems. Side A I didn't miss any points, perfect score. Side B I missed almost 100 points out of the total 315 points available. Why? Because it was intentionally designed to trick. It didn't require any knowledge, just memorization of where information came from in the continuity of the class. Even that wasn't enough because there is a false answer in each section thrown in to confuse the students. Why? I don't understand the point of intentionally deceiving students, especially when so much rides on passing the test, getting that high letter grade.

We are so conditioned to focus on those little letters, so afraid of their impact. Since before I can remember I was told that getting good grades would mean success (money) and bad grades meant sucking cock in a back ally for crack. What a terrible system, making so many children absolutely afraid of failing that it now seems almost impossible to try new things, to experiment, for fear that we may fail.

I suppose that's all I have to say. I am just angry about the system. Generations of kids conditioned against failure will only be a detriment to our society. We need a system that relies on adequate teacher reviews of students behavior instead of letter grades based on cumulative tests.